SNIPPETS

OCTOBER 5,  2009

CLARENCE, N.Y., Oct. 5 (UPI) -- A Pennsylvania man whose 1,040.5-pound pumpkin won the Great Pumpkin Weigh-Off in Clarence, N.Y., says the key to his success is water -- lots of it.  Mike Matto of Bradford, Pa., came out on top in the 27th annual World Pumpkin Confederation competition at the Clarence Fall Festival, defeating his nearest pumpkin rivals by 75 pounds, The Buffalo (N.Y.) News said.

This is clearly pumpkin obesity.  Reports say the Obama administration will propose a massive tax on pumpkin food - or whatever pumpkins eat - to counter the disastrous trend.

OCTOBER 4,  2009

GAINESVILLE, Fla., Oct. 2 (UPI) -- University of Florida officials said a zombie attack survival plan posted online was meant as a humorous stress-reliever for employees.  The plan, which was removed Thursday from the school's e-Learning Web site, listed medical information about "zombieism..."

The ACLU considers anti-zombieism to be a hate crime.

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